I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
