Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Soap is not a condiment
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Randomize
