But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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