I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
