I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
