Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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