just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
