We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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