Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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