it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize