I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
