Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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