you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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