So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
