Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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