guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i think i just lost a toe
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
