I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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