she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
