just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Alive.
So much puke
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
