She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
