there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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