Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
