Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
