Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You ruined the universe
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
