would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
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