i already hear my dad disowning me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
