Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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