Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize