Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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