Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
