she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
