No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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