You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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