Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
