there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
