yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
