Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
