you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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