I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
