Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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