I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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