using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
