found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You made out with two different species that night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
