I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
