Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
