Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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