my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
