I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
