Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
