do herpes really smell.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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