There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
