I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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