ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
