Quick, to the slutcave!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
