OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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