Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
