I think scott just propositioned me for sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
